transform

Here we are again at the start of another year. I would love to say that by the end of 2014, I will have my life together; I will know what I'm going to do for the rest of my life; I will be the kind, patient, compassionate person that I long to be. But I know this will not be the case. Yes, I want to be changed by the time 2015 rolls around, but I know that I am not perfect and never will be, so I will not be perfect in a year's time. Instead, I am hoping and praying to be transformed. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God."

God calls us to be transformed, to "make a thorough and dramatic change", as the dictionary puts it. Transformation is not something that can be achieved half-heartedly or partially; it is a complete change that requires a total commitment. I cannot transform in my own power. I've tried it, but it doesn't last. I need to focus on God, let go of my old habits, and be willing to change and grow.

Will I fail?

Yes.

Will I stumble?

Yes.

Will I lapse back into my old ways sometimes?

Yes.

But by God's grace and through His strength, I can keep transforming for the rest of my life.

"Through the LORD's mercies we are not consumed,

Because His compassions fail not,

They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.

'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul,

'Therefore I hope in Him!'

The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,

To the soul who seeks Him.

It is good that one should hope and wait quietly

For the salvation of the LORD."

Lamentations 3:22-26

This passage really sums up what I pray will happen in me this year as I continue my journey of transformation and becoming more like Christ.

2014 is promising to be a year of great change and I know I won't always handle it well, but God's mercies are new every morning.

Day 1 of the Delight 365 challenge.

Word: New

tea cups and mugs

Sometimes I have tea cup days. Those are the days when I long for the feeling of the dainty china in my hands. Those are the slow days, the days where I have time to just sit and sip my tea without worrying about homework. Maybe later I'll knit something lacy, write a letter of two. 

Then I have mug days. These days are more frequent. These are the busy, stressful days where I need lots of warn tea in a sturdy, hard mug to help me get through the day. I need all the support I can get, so if some comes from a firm grasp on a large mug full of steaming tea, so be it.

Novembers

November 30. 

Another month is over. 

We are one month away from a new year. 

Christmas is less than 30 days away, meaning that I can now listen to Christmas music without judgment and decorate and bake. 

I turned 18 (it's scary, really). 

Thanksgiving was lots of fun with lots of pie. 

The Doctor Who special was fantastic (I may or may not have watched all of season 6 and half of season 7 in one week). 

Thanksgiving break ended too soon.

I knit a Captain America hat for a friend's birthday.

Yarn makes me happy, always.

November has always been a month of endings, but also beginnings. Autumn's leaves finally disappear, but there's not much snow yet. Warm days are gone until spring unpacks them once again. The excitement of a new school year and activities wears off and the hard work really begins.

But...

Preparations for Thanksgiving and Christmas begin, bringing a whirlwind of visits and road trips and crafting and eating and baking and all those wonderful things. My birthday lands in the middle of the month, marking another year of abundant life.

I like Novembers. 

Happy end of November, friends.

laughter is sunshine

"Laughter is sunshine,

it chases winter from the human face."

-Les Miserables

Wise and reasonable

"She hoped to be wise and reasonable in time; but alas! Alas! She must confess to herself that she was not wise yet."

-Persuasion by Jane Austen-

     No, no I am not wise most of the time, and I am often quite unreasonable.

But that's not where I want to stay.

I want to study the Bible to gain wisdom. I want to grow in judgment and reason until I can indeed confess that I am wise and reasonable. 

I know that day will never come, but I can still strive to become so. Hopefully someday I will be able to look back and see how I have increased in wisdom over the years. Yes, it will be a slow process; yes, I will not see the results of wise living immediately. But it will be worth it.

But until that day when I can look back and see how I have grown, I must confess, along with Anne Elliot, that I am not wise yet.

A world that is new, that is free

"It's not what the world holds for you. It's what you bring to it."

-Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery

Anne always seems to have just the right words to say what I am feeling. Right now my life is one of waiting. Waiting for college, for adulthood, for my FAFSA to be processed, for graduation, for Christmas, for summer plans to come together somehow.

But in this season of waiting, I need to remember that life is not about when those things eventually will happen. I must prepare for them now, while I can, instead of simply sitting and waiting. When I get launched into a world that is new, that is free (sorry, I couldn't resist the Les Mis lyrics), I should be as ready as I can be, not shaking off the dust after waiting for a few months. 

What are you waiting for?

p.s. I'm still listening to this song on repeat.

I'm counting on you

But where are the heroes,

Where are the dreams that I had

When I was young?

Am I hoping in vain, just to think

She could change anything?

Well, I'm counting on you.

My generation is losing its way

We don't know what we're leaving for you.

There is so much to know,

There is so far to go,

But you are not alone

When this is your world and 

I'm counting on you.

-I'm Counting on You by Chris de Burgh-

This song. Just this song. Especially this recording of it. Do yourself a favor and just listen to it.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

Did you listen?

Now you know what I've been hearing for the last 20 minutes.

This song just says it all.

I'm growing up. I'll be 18 in a couple of weeks. I'm applying to colleges. There is so much that I don't know, so far I have to go.

I keep fluctuating between being excited to head out and start a new journey and feeling scared to death of that exact thing. I know this is normal, but that doesn't stop this constant pendulum of dread and anticipation. As high school stresses and pressures continue to mount, I just need to remember that God is in control and this will soon be over.

There is so much to know,

There is so far to go,

But you are not alone.

I'm counting on you.